A double date sounds easier than a date for two, and it often is: there are more people to carry the conversation and fewer awkward silences. It can also go wrong in its own ways. One couple talks only to each other, two old friends slip into in-jokes, or nobody quite knows who is on a date with whom. A few habits keep it fun for all four of you.
Pick something to do
Bowling, mini golf, a quiz night, a cooking class: an activity gives four people something to share and something to laugh about. Dinner on its own can turn into two separate conversations across one table.
Talk to all four
Ask the other couple questions too, and include your date in what you say to them. A good double date is one conversation, not two pairs sitting side by side.
Bring your date into the in-jokes
If you know the other couple well, your date doesn’t. Explain the references, tell the story behind the nickname, or skip the joke that only three of you get. Leaving your date outside the circle is the fastest way to make them feel like a guest.
Let your friends help, not take over
If your friends set you up, they can break the ice and tell a good story about you. They shouldn’t sell you, interview your date or make the evening about the two of you as a couple. A quiet word before the night helps: “Just be normal. Please.”
Find a moment for two
When the others go to the bar or the toilets, use it. A real question, just between the two of you, is often the moment the evening turns from a group night into a date.
Ask for the next date yourself
“We should all do this again” leaves it to the group. If you’d like to see them, ask for something just for the two of you, before the night ends.
Lines to borrow
- Meeting your date: “I’ve been told you’re the funniest person Kemi knows. No pressure.”
- Including the other couple: “Okay, I need the full story of how you two met. Every detail.”
- Explaining an in-joke: “Long story, but there was a karaoke machine and Arlo has never recovered. I’ll tell you properly later.”
- The moment for two: “While they’re at the bar: how are you finding this so far, really?”
- Asking for the next date: “I’ve loved tonight. Can I take you out next week, just us this time?”
Practice it
The Double Date is a set-up at the bowling alley: your best friend, his girlfriend and her friend Tamsin, who bowls a strike and then waits for your turn.