“So, tell us about yourself” makes almost everyone freeze. A good introduction isn’t a speech. It’s a few seconds that make the other person want to reply.
Name, hook, question
Say your name, add one thing they can pick up on and hand the conversation back. “I’m Sam. First time here, and I’m only halfway through the book. Did you finish it?” Short, honest and easy to answer.
Say your name clearly
Names said quickly get lost, and then nobody likes to ask. Slow down for your own name, and pause half a beat after it. If it’s unusual, a short way to remember it helps both of you.
Pick a hook that fits the room
At a book club, it’s the book. At work, it’s your role or your first week. At a party, it’s how you know the host. The best hook connects you to the place you’re both in.
Remember their name
Use it once early on (“Nice to meet you, Tom”) and again when you say goodbye. If you forget, ask: “Sorry, tell me your name again?” People rarely mind, and they like that you care.
Skip the CV
Job title, home town and hobbies in one breath is a lot to take in. Give one detail, then let the conversation bring out the rest.
When someone introduces you
If a friend does the introduction, add one detail of your own and ask the other person something, so it doesn’t stall at the handshake. Thank whoever introduced you, too.
Introduce other people
Introducing two people to each other (“Tom, this is Priya. She’s the one who actually finished the book”) makes you the connector in the room, and it’s a great way to join a group. How to Introduce Two People has the details.
Joining a group
Wait for a pause, smile and say “Mind if I join you? I’m Sam.” Most groups make room. If one doesn’t, there are other groups.
At work
Your name, your team and what you’re working on, then a question about theirs. Coffee machines and the first five minutes of a meeting are good moments. How to Make Friends at Work picks it up from there.
Online and in group chats
Keep it to two or three lines: who you are, why you joined and one question or offer. A short, friendly hello gets more replies than a paragraph about yourself.
Lines to borrow
- At a new job: “Hi, I’m Alex. I’ve just joined the design team, and I’m still learning where the good mugs are.”
- At a party: “I’m Jo, one of Dana’s climbing friends. How do you two know each other?”
- At a class: “I’m Kit. Complete beginner, so please don’t stand behind me.”
- In a group chat: “Hi everyone, I’m Robbie. Just moved to the area and looking for people to run with on Sundays.”
- When you forgot to say your name: “Sorry, I’ve been chatting away and never said: I’m Ellie.”
Practice it
Book Club is a Friends scenario about a first meeting: eight strangers, one mystery novel and the only person who finished it.