In an office, small talk happens on its own: in the kitchen, in the elevator, on the walk to a meeting. On a video call there’s no walk and no kitchen, just a grid of faces waiting for someone else to speak. That’s why remote teams feel lonelier, and why a little skill here goes a long way.
Go first
The first silence on a call feels endless, and everyone is waiting for someone else to break it. Be that person. “Morning! How’s everyone’s week going?” or a quick, light line about yourself gets things moving. Nobody minds who speaks first. They’re just relieved someone did.
Use what’s on screen
Backgrounds are the easiest openers there are: a bookshelf, a guitar on the wall, a cat walking across the keyboard, a view out of a window. “Is that a climbing wall behind you?” is the video call version of commenting on the moment you share.
Keep it short
A call has an agenda and a clock. One or two minutes of chat at the start is plenty. Ask one question, listen to the answer, and leave room for the meeting to start. Small talk that runs over feels like an obstacle.
Bring the quiet ones in
On video, it’s easy for two people to chat while everyone else watches. Notice who hasn’t spoken and give them an easy way in: “Ade, you went to that conference, didn’t you? Was it worth it?” Including people is the most valuable thing you can do on a call.
Breakout rooms
Breakout rooms are small talk on hard mode: three or four strangers, a vague task and a timer. Introduce yourself in one line, ask the others the same simple question, and find one thing in common before the room closes.
Take it off the call
The real friendships start after the meeting. If someone mentioned something you share, message them afterwards: “You said you climb. Want to try the new wall on Saturday?” A short direct message after a call is how colleagues become people you actually know.
Lines to borrow
- Going first: “Morning, everyone! Who’s had their coffee and who’s still pretending?”
- Using what’s on screen: “Is that a real plant behind you, or are you a better gardener than me?”
- Bringing someone in: “Femi, you mentioned a trip last week. Did it happen?”
- In a breakout room: “Quick round of names and one thing we’re looking forward to this week? I’ll go first.”
- After the call: “Your dog made a great guest appearance today. What’s his name?”
Practice it
The Breakout Room puts you in a silent breakout room with three strangers and ten minutes on the clock. The Team Chat (free to play) practices the message afterwards, to a colleague you only know from calls.