A first date should be fun, and a little planning makes it safer for everyone. None of this is about expecting the worst. It’s about making sure you can relax and enjoy getting to know someone.
Do a quick video call first
A short call before meeting confirms the person is who their profile says, and shows you whether the conversation flows. Someone who refuses every call, for months, is worth being careful about. Dating App Red Flags covers the other warning signs.
Meet somewhere public
A busy café, bar or park in the daytime or early evening. Avoid meeting at either person’s home for a first date. First Date Ideas has plenty of public places that make conversation easy.
Tell a friend the plan
Share who you’re meeting, where and when, and send a quick message when you’re home. Some people share their location with a friend for the evening.
Get yourself there and home
Use your own transport, a taxi or public transport, so you can leave whenever you like. Keep your phone charged.
Keep an eye on your drink
Watch your drink being made, keep it with you, and get a new one if you’ve left it alone.
Go easy on the drinks
Decide your limit before you go and alternate with water. You’ll read the person better, and you’ll stay the one deciding when the evening ends.
Have a way out
Agree a check-in time with your friend, so a message from them gives you an easy reason to go if you need one. Many bars also have staff trained to help discreetly if you feel unsafe: just ask at the bar.
Trust your gut
If something feels wrong, you can leave at any point. “I’m going to head off now. Take care.” is enough. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Be the safe one too
Suggest public places yourself, respect a no the first time, and make it easy for the other person to leave. Good dates feel safe for both people.
Afterwards
Message your friend that you’re home. If anything worrying happened, report the profile to the app, and if you felt in danger, contact the police.
Lines to borrow
- Suggesting a video call first: “Before we meet, fancy a quick video call this week? Just to say hi properly.”
- Choosing the place: “How about the café on the main street? It’s easy to get to for both of us.”
- Telling a friend: “Meeting Alex at the Crown at 7. I’ll text you by 9 to say how it’s going.”
- Getting yourself home: “I’m going to get a taxi home, but thank you, this was fun.”
- If something feels off: “I’m not feeling great, so I’m going to call it a night.”
Practice it
First Date Energy practices the conversation itself, so you can relax and pay attention. The Video Date practices the first call that usually comes before meeting.