Most people worry about the opposite: signs someone wants to leave. It helps to know what enjoying the conversation looks like too, so you can relax into it instead of wondering when to wrap up.
They ask questions back
The clearest sign of all. Someone who asks about you, especially a follow-up (“So did you ever get the deposit back?”), wants the conversation to keep going.
Their answers get longer
Early answers are often short while people warm up. When the replies grow, with more detail, more opinion and a bit more about themselves, they’re settling in.
They share stories of their own
Answers that come with a story, an opinion or a “that reminds me” are an invitation to keep talking. Short facts are fine, but stories are interest.
They bring up what you said earlier
A callback to your terrible landlord or the dog you mentioned ten minutes ago means they were listening, and enjoying it.
Their body turns towards you
Feet, shoulders and chair pointing your way, a phone put away, earbuds out. Small changes like these say “I’m staying”. There’s more in Body Language Basics.
They skip the easy exits
A drink runs out, a friend waves, the line moves, and they stay. Passing up an easy way out is a strong signal.
Laughing, and making you laugh
Shared jokes and running gags mean you’ve found a rhythm. People don’t build inside jokes with someone they’re trying to leave.
They lose track of time
“Wait, is it really eleven?” Surprise at the time is one of the nicest signs there is: the conversation was good enough to forget the clock.
When it’s winding down
Shorter answers, glances at the door and a body turning away mean the energy is dropping. That’s not a failure. Wrap up warmly while it’s still good, as in How to End a Conversation Gracefully.
Enjoy it, and still end well
When it’s going well, end on a high anyway: suggest a plan or swap numbers while the energy is good, instead of waiting until it fades.
Lines to borrow
- Following their story: “Wait, you can’t stop there. What happened next?”
- Sharing your own: “That reminds me of the worst camping trip of my life.”
- When it’s flowing: “This is fun. Shall we find somewhere to sit down?”
- Ending on a high: “This has been great. Can I get your number before the night runs away with us?”
- Suggesting more: “We should finish this conversation over coffee. Are you free this week?”
Practice it
Read the Signal is a free round of ten quick moments: decide whether each person is interested, giving mixed signals or not interested, then see why. House Party practices keeping a good conversation going in a busy kitchen.