The first weeks of college are the easiest time to make friends, because everyone is new and looking. It can still feel overwhelming. A few habits make it far more likely you’ll find your people.
Say yes early
In the first few weeks, go to things: welcome events, hall dinners, open evenings. You won’t love all of them, but showing up is how you meet people.
Leave your door open
If you’re in halls, an open door while you’re in your room is an invitation. People wander in, and conversations start.
Make the kitchen your common room
Cook when others are cooking, offer to share what you made too much of, and suggest a hall dinner once a week. Shared kitchens turn strangers into friends faster than any welcome event.
Join one or two clubs you’ll actually go to
A society, a sports team, a choir, a volunteering group. Pick things you’d enjoy anyway, and go every week. Friendships grow from seeing the same faces regularly.
Sit with the same people
In lectures and seminars, sit near the same people each time. By week three, saying “want to grab lunch?” feels natural.
Start a study group
Post in your course chat before a deadline: “Anyone want to go through the problem sheet on Thursday in the library?” Working on something together is one of the easiest ways to get to know people.
Suggest plans
Don’t wait to be invited. “A few of us are getting food after this, want to come?” Most people are hoping someone will ask. There’s more in How to Ask Someone to Hang Out.
If you live at home
Commuting makes it harder, because the evenings are when friendships happen. Pick one evening a week to stay late, join a club that meets straight after lectures, and look out for other students who live at home.
If the first weeks were lonely
You’re not late, and you’re far from the only one. The second term brings new club fairs, smaller classes and people who are also still looking. Start small, and see How to Feel Less Lonely for the first steps.
Give it time
Close friendships take a while. The people you meet in week one may not be your best friends by year two, and that’s fine. Keep saying yes and keep showing up.
Lines to borrow
- In the dorms: “Kettle’s on in the kitchen if anyone wants a break from unpacking.”
- At a club: “Is this your first session too? I’ve got no idea what I’m doing.”
- After a lecture: “Did that make any sense to you? Want to go through it over coffee?”
- Making a plan: “There’s a quiz at the union on Wednesday. Shall we make a team?”
- When you haven’t seen someone for a while: “I’ve not seen you in ages! How’s the term going?”
Practice it
The Meetup practices joining a group of strangers at a board-game night. The Language Exchange and First Day practice the first conversation in a room full of new people.